Why a Sunday lie-in is just what your relationship needs

“Mum, please can I have some more?”

My older brother used to shout up the stairs requesting permission for more Weetabix from my parents who were slumbering in bed on a Sunday morning.

“Mum, please can I have some more?” I used to echo.

The answer was always yes, and we couldn’t believe our luck on Sunday mornings, extra wheaty biscuits and unlimited cartoons on TV, a kids dream – but this was the 70’s!

Sunday morning lie ins, whatever happened to them?

This very thought occurred to me the other Sunday morning when I was participating in a delicious Sunday lie in with my partner, you know the type, get up, make tea, snuggle back in with them ‘cos they’re still warm and your feet are freezing, letting the tea go cold……

And not a lie in because of the heavy Saturday night you had and you’re both comatose ‘til half past midday, a lie in for lie ins sake. Just you and your partner, taking some time out with each other.

It got me to thinking that we don’t spend enough time on our relationships anymore, we’re all quick to complain that our sex lives have suffered and we’re not getting it as often as we’d like, but what are we doing about it? What are YOU doing about it?

During the Honeymoon period of a relationship, and even the Honeymoon period of a marriage, the fun, the excitement is all there, we don’t have to go too far to find the impetus for the bedroom gymnastics, it’s all natural and comes easily so to speak, but what next? Should it just be like that? Is there any effort that we might need to put in on our part?

Well yes! That’s your responsibility, you can’t just expect it all to just happen, you’re both going to need to make some effort.

Too often we can find ourselves entrapped by modern living, the need to be doing something worthwhile, to be SEEN to be doing something worthwhile – going to yoga, cycling 60 miles, taking little Jenny to ballet and little Jonny to football – so we can post it online and all our friends can validate what wonderful people we are or such fine parents for enriching our children’s lives in these myriad of ways.

So during this fabulous lie in, I came to ponder what was the difference between those Sunday mornings from the 1970’s compared to the Sunday mornings of today? What was it about the limitation of choices that we had on Sundays that allowed us to concentrate on some of the most important things in our lives, the relationships we were nurturing with those closest to us, and most importantly, the relationship that my parents had spending time in bed together, appreciating each other.

It got me to thinking, in today’s throwaway society, it is as easy to throw away a long term relationship or marriage as it is to throw away an old smart phone or plastic straw when it doesn’t fulfil our need anymore.

But instead of throwing it away when a relationship isn’t working, citing the lack of intimacy or because we’ve ‘grown apart’, perhaps we should all take a collective look in the mirror and wonder if it was something we had done – or not?!

It’s not just about sex, but being close to each other, naked, skin to skin.  There can be so many barriers to intimacy, busy daily lives, different bed times, the book you’re reading, your phone, pyjamas, the children – but all these things are all controllable. Some time together just chatting, chewing the cud of the week or thinking about plans for next week, we are in control of finding some time to wallow in the absolute luxury of intimacy of our partner.

It’s not wasted time, perhaps if there is time to save our relationship, or, if not, maybe learn in time for the next one. Perhaps we could all value our partners a little more and make a little more effort to enjoy each other? Perhaps you could invest enough time in each other that could result in the 2nd greatest gift you could give your children, an enduring stable relationship.

A habit formed of spending a little time naked together having a bath or a Sunday morning lie in may just be the spice you could need to enliven your relationship – and for the advanced amongst you, there’s always Brazen toys.

I for one am sticking to the mental picture of my parents just having a Sunday morning snuggle – but hey, something must have worked, they’ve been married more than 50 years!

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Written by one of our latest contributors, Daryl Cook