Nostalgic for Some Old Fashioned Porn?

If you decided you wanted to enjoy porn continuously it would take 68 years just to watch the content uploaded onto Porn Hub during 2017 alone! More and more of us are enjoying it – everything from ‘virtual reality’ to ‘old fashioned porn’; a record 28.5 billion people overall made a visit to porn hub – 81 million per day, 800 searches per second! In one year alone there were enough petabytes of data uploaded to the site to fill the memory of every iPhone currently in use around the world.

Research suggests that our X-rated viewing is helping couples to better connect and feel more confident talking about what they want in the bedroom. But is having porn at our finger tips as exciting as stashing the mags under our mattress and hoping we don’t get caught?

Recently we stumbled across some old Mayfair Magazines at an auction. They were hidden in the back of a dusty old cupboard. Once upon a time they would have been treated like treasure; secreted under a teenager’s pillow, in a corner of the garage that nobody but one person visited, or on in a desk drawer under some files marked ‘top secret’.

If there’s one thing that the internet gets a lot of stick for – it’s the easy accessibility of porn. But although the modern phenomenon makes it readily available, it certainly isn’t a modern delight. From the discovery of the 4-inch statue of Venus of Willendorf that dates back over 25,000 years to a collection of erotica discovered out of the ancient city of Pompeii that included hundreds of sexually explicit images, sculptures and frescoes; porn has been enjoyed for a very, very, VERY long time.

Now, we may not be able to talk to the residents of ancient Pompeii, but we have been able chat to a few porn old-timers to see if they feel things have changed for the better. What we found was some serious nostalgia for the days of sticky pages and surreptitious pickings from the top shelf!

Meet James. James worked as a mechanic’s apprentice from the age of sixteen and got more than an education in fixing engines: “Working as an apprentice in a garage in the late 80’s was certainly an eye opener. During tea breaks the men (and yes at the time it was only men) would gather around a table with their tea or lunch. In the middle of that table were huge stacks of porn mags. As a youngster it was – well – it was an eye opener. Everyone would quieten down and look through them sometimes laughing, sometimes silently! Me included. In those days there was more to actually read – erotica and similar. But at that age – I just looked at the pictures!”

John was a policeman in rural Dorset during the 1980’s. He followed up on the report of an ‘older gentleman’ that was flashing at a school bus of girls every morning. When he investigated the report he found a man and his two sisters living in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere: “Every morning the brother, probably in his 50s at the time, would head out to the barn where he would take his pleasure in front an open barn door, upon which was pinned the inside full page picture of a topless Sam Fox. The passing school bus was completely coincidental to his morning ritual.”

For Michael it was a different story; “My first experience with pornography happened at school. One of the boys (it was an all-boys Grammar) had smuggled in a copy of ‘Forum’ magazine; this was the 1970’s and the swinging/swapping colourful sixties had given way to the equally active (but rather more beige and bearded) seventies.

‘Forum’ was an A5 size (easy to hide) and was almost entirely words! That may be hard to believe nowadays, but it was really quite popular, full of stories. The boy would bring in a copy each week and during the lunch break we would all gather around in clandestine fashion in the classroom and listen in a mixture of excitement, interest and embarrassment as he read out the various tales from the pages within.

A year later I would be chosen as the ‘porn purchaser’ by the class, because I was tall and my route home passed by a rather disreputable newsagents shop beside the bus station. I’m not sure how old the bloke behind the counter thought I was, but evidently his conscience was eased sufficiently by my height and I would buy a copy of something from the top shelf, using coins contributed grubbily by my classmates. This way, I got to enjoy an evening with a brand new ‘naughty comic’ before it became rather more dog-eared and the best pages got stuck together!

What did we buy? Mainly Mayfair, but sometimes Fiesta and occasionally Razzle or Whitehouse, the latter being much less airbrushed and generally much raunchier than Mayfair! I fact in Mayfair I don’t think we ever actually saw the anatomical detail between a woman’s legs, it was all a fuzzy blur! Mind you, having looked recently on a well-known auction website for copies that I remember, they are now few a good few quid.

I ended up with quite a stack hidden in my wardrobe. I say ‘hidden’ but in later years my Mum told me she knew they were there and enjoyed leafing through them herself! In hindsight I learned a great deal from the stories, and I believe it stood me in good stead once the sex was in the flesh – and I’m pretty sure my partners have agreed. A healthy interest in sex is no bad thing.”

It seems however that nostalgic porn is all the rage! A recent auction at Sotheby’s saw the first ever Playboy magazine, from 1953, go up for sale. The magazine featured a young Marilyn Monroe on the cover and inside and was priced at just 50 cents. In February this year it sold for £4000.

So how about you? Are you old enough to remember discovering some copies of porn magazines hidden in your Dad’s office, or have been in a secret circle of delight with your chums at school? If you still have them – and can bear to part with them, they may just make you your fortune!