A History of Dildos – and what you need know before you buy one

Dildos are really considered as the ultimate bread-and-butter sex toy! You can find dildos in any sex toy store or website and now even in your local supermarket somewhere near the cucumbers and courgettes. They also seem to appear in completely nonsexual contexts; politics, viral Amazon reviews or dog chew toys.

They are pretty much ubiquitous in human society, and for some reason we appear to be infinitely creative and innovative when it comes to this simple penetrative toy – from 4-inch peckers to 15-inch beasts, from the glass beauty to the purple monster.

But dildos have been around a lot longer than you may think, so the fact that they come in such a huge variety of sizes, colours, shapes and materials nowadays is not that surprising – apparently humanity had about 30.000 years to perfect them!

“My little dilldo shall suply their kinde” 

Ancient dildos and recovered phallic artefacts

According to some archaeologists, humans already made dildos as early as during the Stone Age, some 30 thousand years ago. While it might be a stretch to classify these artefacts recovered from earlier eras as sex toys, it’s clear that the need for penetrative items far predates our recorded history.

Ancient Greek vase art already portrayed dildos in a clear and explicitly sexual manner often used in orgies or masturbation scenes. Not to mention the bizarre breadstick dildos, the olisbokollikes that were recovered from 5th century Greece, and tend to top all the “weirdest sex toys” lists around the Internet.

The ancient Chinese elite prepared tombs for themselves stocked with all the Earthly luxury they enjoyed in life including exquisitely decorated bronze dildos, so our modern appetite for high end sex toys is not a new human quirk either. And who didn’t think to themselves before – just bury me with my phone, my car and my favourite dildo?!

While many civilisations before ours invested and invented in sexual pleasure for both sexes, we tend to think that this quest is a modern one.

Of course, with Christianity spreading quickly in Europe and beyond in the early middle ages, dildos soon become unmentionables along with humanity’s accumulated knowledge of pleasure, sex and having a shared good time. No matter how common their existence remained throughout history, polite circles shunned the phallic and exiled dildos to taboo-land. And that is where early dildos – along with other early sex toys like the anal dilators of the 1800s, the first electromechanical vibrators of the 1880s or the “sport” massager wands of the 1950s – remained up until the sexual revolution of the 1960s, 70s and 80s.

Dildos, however, been around a lot longer, so let’s have a look where all this history, experience and evolution took this humble tool of pleasure now. Here’s a list of some very much more modern dildos featured on the Brazen website.

Alive Cesar Future Skin Realistic Dildo with Suction Cup


Cesar gives that natural feeling to add some realistic passion to your ‘alone time’. Made from a revolutionary Future Skin material, it also has a powerful suction cup so that you can use it without hands.




Fifty Shades Freed It’s Divine Glass Beaded Dildo Black

This Fifty Shades Freed temperature-responsive glass beaded dildo is hand-blown from toughened borosilicate glass for durability. It has a perfect, smooth shape for both external and internal massage. It is designed with twin insertable ends for differing intimate stimulation styles.


Fifty Shades Darker Deliciously Deep Steel G-Spot Dildo

Try this double-ended ultra-modern, steel dildo for thrilling twin sensations. The curved bulbed tip at one end is perfect for your for G-spot or P-spot massage, with beaded textures the other end for acute stimulation. This is designed for firm internal stimulation and temperature play – for him, her or couples.




Fifty Shades of Grey Drive Me Crazy Glass Massage Wand

A double ended glass dildo for thrilling internal stimulation! One end features a single bulb whilst the other has 2 bulbs and a thicker curve for G-spot stimulation. It has six glass nubs along its length that will caress you internally and externally – whichever end you choose to use. This is suitable for beginners and experienced sex toy users alike and is part of the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Pleasure Collection approved by E L James.